you compare yourself to others, admit it. i do it. i do it all the time. when i’m in the store and a girl has on an outfit i’m too afraid to pull off. when other bloggers show off their gorgeous houses and i’m sitting in a rental with so many problems i’d take 10 of my ‘5 things’ lists to cover it all. when people have things handed to them and we’ve struggled for years to get an almost comfortable spot.
for a few seconds i think, “if only i had her life.” and it’s literally a second because my next thought is “then it’s all or nothing and i don’t want her job or her parents or her whatever.” it’s all clear to me and it’s not worth it. sometimes i just need a kick in the butt.
my life is not perfect. i don’t have washboard abs. my kids disrespect me and talk back. i drive modest cars that are 9 and 7 years old. my house is typically messy. i have a really stressful job that leaves me mentally drained. my husband’s office is in the middle of our kitchen. i have couches that are older than my marriage. i gladly take hand-me-downs for me and the boys. i give to goodwill, then park and shop. i use a piece of bedroom furniture as my kitchen pantry. i cut my own hair for years because i couldn’t afford a professional one. i don’t like my hands. there are currently 4 things in my house with duct tape keeping them together. my kid ran for class president and didn’t make it.
but when i really think about these things…there is so much positive rooted inside.
my life is perfect for me. matt and i are watching what we eat and working out and are seeing results. every moment is an opportunity to teach my kids love and respect. my cars are 6 and 17 months away from being paid off. my house isn’t stuffy, it’s lived in. my job provides for my family, keeps me close to home, allows flexibility and gives us security for the future. matt’s available for the boys and home all day with them. one day, our couches won’t be jumped on and that will make me sad. people love to give and i am blessed to have such great people in my life who do it out of love and not pity. shopping at goodwill helps so many people. i have learned how to make do with what i have and not complain about what i don’t. the $60 i dropped a few weekends ago sure was well deserved. i like a lot of other things about myself and don’t fret about the things i don’t. one day, when the time is right for us, we’ll be ready to buy and we won’t have to hold our fridge handle together with duct tape. the experience taught gibson many things, allowed him to try something new, earned himself a hamster and a request from his teacher to run again in middle school next year.
these things weigh on me…for good and learning and perspective. a special friend once told me she loved that i can always see things through rose-colored glasses no matter how hard things have been for me. i smile when i think about leaving that legacy behind.
then with the passing of Mr. Jobs this week and finding this quote from him, i knew that my attitude had been appropriate all along. rose-colored glasses are available anywhere, it’s up to us to decide to wear them.
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life,” Jobs said. “Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs
happy football sunday! =)